Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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