so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
