Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
