Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
