she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
honey bunches of taint.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
