Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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