Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Mom said you looked used
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
