Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize