are you still at the devil's house?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize