just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
