do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize