Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
