Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
And then he peed in my hair
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize