my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize