I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
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I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
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My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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