she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
