If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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