Already got asked if we're dating
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i may or may not be watching the land before time
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
