Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
