Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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