You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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