she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
