i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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