Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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