so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
