Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize