i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
