Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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