i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
