And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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