dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize