i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
