How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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