I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
