he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
