i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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