my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You smell like stripper and shame
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize