matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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