Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the raccoons are back...
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