Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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