then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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