im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
