cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
