Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize