just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
