There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You are the jesus of drinking
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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