Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
