How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
