do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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