dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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