Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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