Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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