Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sorry about my life...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize