Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't deserve a penis
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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