I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think I am morally bankrupt
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
