The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
nutella sex= disaster
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
