Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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