Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
