Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
