Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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