oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will pee on everything he values.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
