Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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