it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
