Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
