The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
