She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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