It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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