I will die if light touches me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.