that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though